November 2, 2015
BESPOKE ANIMAL SCIENCE FOR DISCERNING LITTLE PEOPLE
Monkeys like to swing from trees They’re bored stuck in the zoo, And so to keep themselves amused They like to fling their poo.
Have you heard of the laughing hyena? He laughs at his own dirty jokes, At ladies he screams “pull my finger” Then giggles and laughs till he chokes.
Leopards have ludicrous diets Inherited straight from the Scots, They eat haggis and pizza in batter, That is why leopards have spots.
The monitor lizard eats insects And only the freshest of flies Because he is clearly a health nut, His scales come as no great surprise.
Bears sometimes get upset tummies When over indulging in honey So they clean their brown furry bottoms By wiping their bums on a bunny.
Hippos only have two teeth The rest went brown and brittle They all fell out from eating sweets When they were only little.
November 2015 (9)
I Love You More Than Twenty
Bored of My Pants
A Toddler in Winter
Bespoke Animal Science for Discerning Little People
How Smelly is My Sock?
Bespoke Philosophy for Discerning Little People
Hollmark Greetings For Grown-ups
Wicked Verse for Grown Up Kids